Trader Joe's Spicy Porkless Plant-Based Snack Rinds Review

Or to be much less technical, no-pork pork rinds. Were non-meat eaters really jonesing for these, or did Trader Joe's make these because they could? Because we'd buy them and try them? There's really no telling with the bright minds at TJ's food creation headquarters, a place I want to believe exists and is a place I could work someday, creating weird food that people will absolutely clamor for.

This 3.5 ounce bag is quite light, which makes sense because it's full of puffed rice meal, pea protein, and pea flour and seasoned with paprika, cayenne, and habanero pepper powder. That kind of makeup means a hit of protein while you snack. All of this is baked, making it even healthier than regular porky pork rinds, which are traditionally fried. Also amusingly, these are kosher certified for our kosher Jewish friends who have also been wondering about real pork rinds.

And remember, at Trader Joe's you can return any product you don't like for a full refund! But that also entails saving the product, remembering to take it with you, and also driving back to Trader Joe's. As we all know, even though this offer exists, sometimes it's too much of a hassle to take advantage of, which is why I am here today with two takes on these snack rinds.

The Pork Rind Lover's POV

Patrick loves pork rinds. He regularly buys the brands his beer store around the corner sells, and eats them because he genuinely likes them. I got his first bite reaction: "Feels like a pork rind, but I bet it wouldn't melt in my mouth like some pork rinds do. As far as the texture it's not bad but I'm not grooving on the seasoning. It would be better as a salt and pepper or mustard flavor instead of spicy."

The Pork Rind Non-Enthusiast's POV

I may have never had a real pork rind. It's a gross product name. You want me to eat the rind of pork? What is that even?! No thanks. So I was curious about these because why not? I'm assuredly eating no rind here, just a rind facsimile.

First thoughts: "Oh man, this is spicy. It crunches just like a puffed rice snack. I do like the flavor here but wish it was a little less spicy. Okay, yeah I need milk now."

Is It Worth Buying Porkless Rinds?

I say these Trader Joe's Spicy Porkless Plant-Based Snack Rinds are worth buying if you're down with spicy snacks! There's no getting around the heat factor, which lingers just a little longer than I'd like for it to on my palate. But it does fade in a reasonable amount of time, unlike some other more hateful spices. I'll enjoy the rest of this bag, and would enjoy these again too. I'll enjoy them even more if they dial down the heat on future flavors.

So hear us out, TJ's! You've got the technology down, and we're here and ready to try your next flavors, of which there are many possibilities to work with.