millennials are killing collage

They say millennials are killing everything good in the world. But is anyone explaining why? Is anyone telling the older people writing these articles and making these claims the stories that led us to be so miserly with our spending, so environmentally conscious, so conscientious about every decision we make? Graduating into, or having to recover from a toilet of an economy where we were told to be grateful for our 22k a year jobs (that we just took on a mountain of student loan to get better ones than) shaped us similar to how living through the Depression made our grandmas keep every Cool-Whip container to reuse. We’re going to have these odd millennial tics for years. We’ll still be driving our 2001 Jeeps in 2060 if we have our way, even if we’re finally starting to make the kind of decent salary that affords us the opportunity to save a few bucks.

In a probably useless defense of my generation, I’m going to take this handy Mashable article that has aggregated everything my generation is killing and justify it. A lot of what we “killed” have similar reasons, some of course can fall into multiples but I took the liberty of sorting them to my own biases (like college football sucking).

Too Expensive

FashionGymsDinner datesMoviesSuitsTaking risksRomanceThe American DreamDiamondsJ. CrewGolfVacationsMotorcycles

It’s Bad for the Earth

OilBaby namesWine corks (almost!)CarsNapkins

It Just Sucks or We Don’t Need It

The OlympicsThe NFLStilettosApplebee’sBuffalo Wild WingsThe Big MacConsumerismThe McWrapHandshakesCollege footballMcDonaldsThe anti-aging industryDepartment storesBar soapRelationshipsFocus groupsMarriageGamblingGen X’s retirementAmericaMarmaladeThe 2016 presidential electionDemocracy in generalThe Toyota ScionPatriotismCrowdfundingCreditLoyalty programsThe European Union

We Found a Better Alternative

The 9-to-5 workdayHangout sitcomsHotelsLoyalty in generalTravel marketingLight yogurtThe Canadian tourism industryFabric softenerBeerSelf-pityWorkingRunningBanks

Wait, We Don’t Like These? (no one told sent me the memo, or did we kill those too?)

BrunchCruisesCerealSerendipityLunchTreesSexHome DepotWine

 Uh…

Everything

So basically in order to not kill things, we need to buy them anyway, do the same things as previous generations, and keep the status-quo going. Screw progress! Anyone else as tired as I am of basically any headline involving millennials?