I had a thought in the bathroom today of the workplace that I’ll be leaving next week. No, just stay with me, I promise it won’t be gross but if you read this part I DO have a gross bathroom story if you’d like.

Back to the bathroom. I walked in the stall, got comfortable, and thought about the bathroom at the new workplace that I’ll be settling into in a week and a few days. “How long will it take me to feel comfortable there? I hope it isn’t long.”

Then another thought, about a quote I saw from Pinterest (whose precise one I don’t remember, someone want to dig one up for me?) about how being comfortable is being unchallenged, or something along those lines. It’s really true. The more comfortable you are in any given situation, the less risk you’re taking, and the less creative you have to be because there are little to no problems or challenges to solve and overcome.

Being challenged is exhausting though, and it really does take up to a month to feel even moderately comfortable in a new job to where you’re in. Because I’m anticipating being overwhelmed I am trying to take this time before I start the new adventure to clean up my life so that there’s less to tend to during that transitional time. I am overwhelmed with my lists at the moment (seriously, I have like six with lots of overlap!) so I am taking a few minutes today to condense and prioritize and will be back with it this weekend.

Okay so now that inspirational hour is over, here’s the gross bathroom story:

Sunday I had been down in the country shooting guns with friends. The ride back took about 45 minutes so by the time I pulled up in the driveway I really had to go! My friends went to their cars and I scrambled inside the house and ran into my bathroom. I reached down to lift the upper lid and inadvertently looked into the toilet (doesn’t everyone do that? Seriously?) and saw something in there. Something moving. Yes, moving. I dropped the lid quickly and screamed. I took a second to gather myself and opened it back up. A RAT WAS SWIMMING. IN. MY. TOILET.

Scene of the crime

I screamed again and ran into the hallway and dug into my purse to locate my phone. What do you do with a live, swimming rat? How did it get there? I called Patrick first because, well, this is a husband-type question, right? I called my dad second and he asked me the important questions like, “Is it bigger than a turd?” And told me that if it wasn’t to go ahead and flush it. I kept him on the phone with me as I crept back into the bathroom as though the rat was going to jump out and attack me, reached cautiously to the handle then to the lid to peek one more time to confirm that this was really happening, then determinedly pulled down on the handle.

I squealed into my dad’s ear and ran back out into the hallway. After a minute of speculating as to whether it came from the inside or the outside, I tiptoed back into the bathroom and lifted the lid to see if the offending matter was gone. It was. Naturally I ran to the other bathroom and slammed down that toilet’s lid, and also secured the drain in the tub JUST IN CASE.

As you can imagine I still was curious if it was literally possible for the rat to have gotten past my two dogs and one cat, to lift the lid on the toilet, and then fall in. I texted my friend who is a plumber and is familiar with the pipes in our house, then Googled it and got this (mostly) reassuring answer from Metafilter. I concluded (and will keep believing) that it swam up the sewer lines as opposed to having been in my house. It just isn’t possible for it to have gotten in there any other way. I still hadn’t been able to go at this point and was sure as hell not going to use the now-terrifying-to-me toilets and was seriously considering taking the dogs into the backyard and getting comfortable with how they go, but then I realized I was hot and sticky from being outside in the heat of the day and went to take a shower.

Recounting the events to a friend, I said, “This is probably a once in a lifetime thing, but once it happens, for the rest of your life you’ll ALWAYS look in the toilet before you sit down.” And I suspect that it may take quite some time for me to get over not having to constantly keep an eye on the bowl while at rest, in the restroom.

Who has any bathroom stories for us today?? Please share below in the comments!