You know what sucks? Trying to cram a whole leaf of lettuce in your mouth, especially when it’s at a restaurant, or when you’re at a business lunch, or trying to impress someone. It’s equally annoying at home when you’re eating over the sink by yourself, so I decided to fix the problem by making all of the pieces of my salad bite sized, starting with the biggest culprit- the leaves.

Note: don’t chop lettuce leaves with a metal knife unless you’re going to eat it pretty immediately or it’ll oxidize and the edge will turn pinkish and look gross. It’s still edible, but no. Just no. This is one instance where pink is not the best choice. There is such a thing as a lettuce knife that’s plastic, but don’t you think that’s just going a little too far?

I took it too far and even cut the croutons to be smaller sized. I was committed to the smallness of every component of this salad! The other ingredients include almond slices, tiny squares of red bell paper, orange flavored cranberries (from Trader Joe’s, mmm), shredded Parmesan, and topped with Cesar vinaigrette.

So take your salad and cut it up, a lot. And it’ll taste the same, but it’ll be way easier to eat. Ta daaaaa. It might not save you at business lunch in a conference room, but it’ll save you when you’re trying to impress someone with a salad in your home.